i
start
by
noticing the stillness
of
my body finally at rest
and
i breathe
deeply
i
try to keep
my
thoughts gently flowing
like
a calm and steady stream
instead
they are like waves
crashing
into one another
each
swelling crest eventually
curling
over and falling apart
into
a thinly scattered layer
of
serf and foam
there
is a central current
from
which these waves are born
i
have not found it yet
i
continue to breathe
deeply
i
can not feel my fingers anymore
before
me lies complete
and
utter nothingness
void
of any describable
physical
quality
it
sort of reminds me of the construct program
in
that movie with lawrence and keanu
i
am afraid
for
i am truly alone
and
yet i know this is the way it has to be
because
this is the way it is
although
no longer certain
if
i am still deeply breathing
i
begin to feel magnetized
to
separate points
on
either side of me
and
now i am
stretching,
twisting, bending
in
opposite directions
that
don’t necessarily
oppose
one another
i
do not resist
from
some point behind me
i
take notice of
or
rather am noticed by
a
great energy force
something
i can not
see
or touch or hear
and
yet i can not
escape
its presence
from
some point behind me
a
voice more sensed than heard
more
felt than understood
enters
my space
and
all at once
my
entire universe
is
filled with song
just
when i recognize this voice
as
being neither internal
nor
completely external
to
my being
i
receive words
to
represent thoughts
yet
i know they are
a
poor imitation
i
need to speak with you
the
words express
and
yet i know
i
am the one
who
needs it most
but
where can i find you
the
question
barely
takes form in my head
before
the answer sounds out
an
echo in my mind
even
as the words are uttered
in
all things
and
immediately
i
think of at least
57
other questions
i
want to ask
instead
i find myself
slowly
paying heed
to
my breathing
the
floodgates
of
my consciousness
are
opened once more
in
an outburst
my
thoughts
return
to me
and
i notice
that
my foot
has
fallen
asleep
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